Published in The Star (Parenthots)

Maidless in PJ

2 May 2012

Mother’s little helpers: (From left) Suraya Mohd Shafee, seven, Safiyah, three, Faris, 11 and Faizal, 10.

By KULSANOFER SYED THAJUDEEN
I was following with great interest the unfolding maid saga that has been gaining much space in our papers recently. It seems quite clear that the average Malaysian will not be able to afford a live-in maid in the near future.

Malaysians have become a pampered lot that we must relearn to live without one. After numerous headaches, heartache and loss of thousands of ringgit, I made a conscious decision to live without one three years ago. Can you live without a maid? The answer is a resounding YES.

Paradigm shiftIt was a shock, initially, for all of us, when I decided to go maidless. Having had a maid to do all the nitty-gritty work, all of a sudden everything had to be done by us.

I have four children, the youngest being a toddler and things started piling up and tempers flared. There was inertia all around. The children, especially my eldest, felt it was beneath him to do any housework. A change in attitude was crucial to the running of the home. We had to drill into the children that it is our responsibility to maintain our home. If you see something on the floor you should pick it up and put it in its right place. Nobody is going to do it for you.

It was not easy and there were times when I nearly threw in the towel but I had the support of my spouse and we stuck to our resolution. By repeatedly reminding each other, we managed to put in systems in our home and achieve compliance from everyone after a year.

Children are an assetMany of us do not see the potential in our children to be a substantial help in the home. They can be trained to be in charge of certain chores and with practice, they can become more efficient. Each child can be given a specific task and monitored routinely. If the task is not done, then we know exactly who did not complete the task and will be dealt with appropriately. But before I am labelled a Tiger Mother, I would like to assure all that the children are given treats for their co-operation.

Another area that children must be trained in is taking care of themselves. They must be responsible for all their things. I do not entertain questions like, “Mum, where are my boots?” I provide them all their stationery; they are expected to be ready for school and complete their schoolwork. I conduct a random audit to keep them on their feet.

I believe that involving the children in housework builds character and is an essential living skill. My next plan is to train each child to learn to cook one dish, so that they can come up with a meal as a back-up plan if I am sick or not around.

Invest in toolsManaging the household is a job like any other that requires proper tools for added efficiency. For a family o f six, a good washing machine is essential for clothes management as it needs to handle a full load every day.

Missing one day of washing spells disaster as the laundry will pile up. Rain or shine, the laundry has to be washed and dried. A dryer is a great help, especially during the rainy season, or when you have a full-time job; you can do both the washing and drying at night.

The ironing system is truly a time-saver. The pressurised steam works wonders on creases and cuts down on the ironing time by half. Ironing is no longer a dreaded chore now. If you can afford it why not splurge on those robotic vacuum cleaners that automatically clean your home every day.

There are loads of other household appliances that can help make your life easier; the whole idea is if you can automate a process, why do it yourself!

Break into small portionsProcrastination is the thief of time! I cannot agree more. There is nothing more daunting than to look at a huge pile of clothe s or dishes before you.

Set a chore every day and follow your routine religiously. If you miss a chore on Monday then do it the next Monday, don’t interrupt the routine. Doing a chore immediately also helps; for example, clean the microwave or oven immediately after use.

MultitaskingThis has become a habit as I continuously try to be more productive in a day. You can clean bathrooms while you take a bath or mend clothes while watching TV.

Get helpEveryone needs help, you cannot do everything yourself. There are many companies that offer part-time maid services now. You can make use of the help to do tougher housework like cleaning windows and ceiling fans.

Simplify your lifeIt really bewilders me when people complain that it is difficult to do something but they never take steps to solve the problem. When I was faced with the problem of a messy home with toys all over the house, I decided to give away most toys and the situation became more manageable. Perhaps it is not wise to have too many knick-knacks or souvenirs that collect dust on the shelf or table.

For those who have a lawn and garden but no time to maintain it, it is better to just tile it and have a few potted plants. Simple is better because there is more to life that just maintaining the house.

FoodHaving to put food on the table every day for each meal is tremendous work. Simplify it with menu-planning. With your menu planned for the week you will know exactly what to buy and there will be no wastage or running to the grocery store for supplies. I prepare meals for a week and freeze them. This requires an organised kitchen and I cook in a very systematic manner to ensure a speedier work rate. By preparing the food during the weekend, I do not need to think about cooking during busy workdays.

You can just come home from work and pop the prepared meal in the microwave. My, the sheer pleasure of having a hot meal at the touch of a button!

Running a household is no piece of cake on top of having to mind children, help with their homework and the gazillion projects and experiments, tend to sick toddlers and work full-time. It can be done but it requires lifestyle sacrifices.

It is not really a question of whether Malaysians can live without a maid, but if we want to live without one. There are good reasons for going sans maid like not having a stranger live with you. You have privacy as a family.

Children will be more independent and responsible. They would also have more living skills, which would be beneficial when they live on their own. In my case, my family grew into a strong, mature and independent entity and w e are fiercely proud of that.